If Shania Was Mine

If Shania Was Mine by Cledus T. Judd

Parody of Any Man Of Mine by Shania Twain

Lyrics

This is what Cledus T. wants…

If Shania was mine
Wouldn’t be proud of me
Couldn’t hardly blame her
Cuz I’m so derned ugly
But on our first date
We could have a good time
If I got her on the moonshine

If Shania was mine
Say it fit just right
Though my polyester suit was just a little too tight
And there’s no way
I’d have a bad hair day
Cuz I’d buy a new toupee’

Oh, I’d love to seduce her
But she married her producer
Now all I do is pray, pray, pray!
She’ll get a deevorce someday

If Shania was mine
I’d probably lose my mind
If she only squeezed me, teased me
Pleased me one good time
And if she only knew
All the things I’d do
I’d be the lawn mowin, crop growin
Tater peelin, house cleanin kind
If Shania was mine

Ha huh

If Shania was mine
She’d have to agree
Can’t no one cook road kill better than me
Add a dozen mountain oysters and some old fatback
She’d say “Mmm, I like it like that” cha…
Now all I do is wonder
Whose bed have her boots been under
I wish she’d hadda been mine
Now I whine, whine!
That girl is so doggone fine

If Shania was mine
I think I’d go slap blind
Starin’ at her yummy little tummy
And her booty shakin’ round behind
And if she only knew
All the things I’d do
I’d be the lawn mowin’ crop growin’
Tater peelin’ house cleanin’ kind
If Shania, if Shania, if Shania,
If Shania, if Shania (ACK HACK)

Now was that Mutt Lange or Deewight Yoakam?

When she shimmies and shakes
It’s more than I can take
Oh, what she does to me in them videos
Wife’s gonna leave me if I don’t explain
What I see in Shania Twain
I’d love to see her in a magazine
Centerfold if you know what I mean
Oh me-a oh my-a
I wish that Shania
Would buy me a house in South Carolina
Two, four, six, eight, nine
Oh I wish that Shania was mine!
he he he huh huh
Want to be a gal of mine…

For Music Monday, Any Man Of Mine by Shania Twain, 1995

Background

Any Man of Mine” was written by Shania Twain and Mutt Lange. “Any Man of Mine” was a single released from Shania’s album, “The Woman in Me” in 1995. The song became her first country hit as well as Shania’s first crossover hit when the song reached the Top 40 on the Pop charts. In 1995, the song won Single of the Year at both the Canadian Country Music Awards and Country Music Radio Awards.

Since embedding has been disabled, the original music video can be seen HERE.

Lyrics

This is what a woman wants

Any man of mine better be proud of me
Even when I’m ugly he still better love me
And I can be late for a date that’s fine
But he better be on time

Any man of mine’ll say it fits just right
When last years dress is just a little too tight
And anything I do or say better be okay
When I have a bad hair day

And if I change my mind
A million times
I wanna hear him say
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I like it that way”

Any man of mine better walk the line
Better show me a teasin’, squeezin’, pleasin’ kinda time
I need a man who knows, how the story goes
He’s gotta be a heartbeatin’, fine treatin’, breathtakin’, earthquakin’ kind
Any man of mine

Well any man of mine better disagree
When I say another woman’s lookin’ better than me
And when I cook him dinner and I burn it black
He better say, “Mmm, I like it like that yeah”

And if I changed my mind
A million times
I wanna hear him say
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I like it that way”

Any man of mine better walk the line
Better show me a teasin’, squeezin’, pleasin’ kinda time
I need a man who knows, how the story goes
He’s gotta be a heartbeatin’, fine treatin’, breathtakin’, earthquakin’ kind
Any man of mine

Let me hear you say
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah I like it that way”

(Any man, any man, any man)
Any man of mine better walk the line
Better show me a teasin’, squeezin’, pleasin’ kinda time
I need a man who knows, how the story goes
He’s gotta be a heartbeatin’, fine treatin’, breathtakin’, earthquakin’ kind
Any man of mine

You gotta shimmy shake, make the earth quake
Kick, turn, stomp, stomp, then you jump
Heel to toe, doors to doors

‘Til your boots wanna break, ’til your feet and your back ache
Keep it movin’ ’til you just can’t take anymore
Come on everybody on the floor
A-one two, a-three four, hup two, hum

If you wanna be a man of mine, that’s right
This is what a woman wants

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Miss Moneypenny reporting for the Undercover Times

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About Miss Moneypenny

Contrarian Comedienne who creates Photoshop Political Satire and comedy.

Posted on March 22, 2009, in Humor, Music Monday and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.

  1. very very funny… hehehe

  2. I will go for Shania Twain’s version..I can pretty much relate to it..
    Funny pick! hehehe… ^_^ Happy MM!

  3. We could have a good time
    If I got her on the moonshine …. umm, in my past this was actually true a few times.

    I look good when looking through beer goggles 😉

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