Phallus and Homosexual Euphemisms in the New Quiznos Commercial

On March 23, 2009, Quiznos launched their foot-long Toasty Torpedo Sub loaded with Phallus and Homosexual Euphemisms….

Put it in me, Scott? According to Reuters, the (ground-breaking?) long, slim sub comes in five manly varieties: Big Kahuna Tuna, Italian, Pesto Turkey, Turkey Club, and Beef, Bacon & Cheddar. For more information, you can take the test at Toasty torpedo.com.

Will you vote for the new Toasty Torpedo?

The good news was Quiznos didn’t erect the 180-foot long Falcon 9 Phallus Rocket to launch their Toasty Torpedo to Uranus…

Loading Falcon 9 SpaceX

Image source: Space Exploration Technologies (SpaceX) raised the Falcon 9 Rocket upright at the Space Launch Complex 40 (SLC-40) in Cape Canaveral, Florida on Jan 10, 2009.

In other bizarre related news, Rory McInnes, a 18 year-old British teenager, painted a giant 60-foot long phallus on the roof of his parents’ home after watching a documentary about the satellite images on Google Earth. You can view a photo of his artwork by clicking, “Teenager paints 60ft phallus on roof of family home.”

Apparently, Rory was inspired by an ancient fertility symbol. His painting of the engorged erect organ is a copy of the Cerne Abbas Giant, a 80-foot high figure of a naked sexually aroused club-wielding giant that was carved into the side of a chalk hill in Dorset, southwest England. Please note that both linked images may be considered NSFW.

The good news is his parents can find their home from space after partying with Lieutenant Hikaru Sulu who has toasted a few Torpedoes in his toaster oven.

*For your reading and laughing pleasure, you may also like these related posts…

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Miss Moneypenny reporting for the Undercover Times

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About Miss Moneypenny

Contrarian Comedienne who creates Photoshop Political Satire and comedy.

Posted on March 25, 2009, in Bizarre, Humor, Satire and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. My boss Joel is one of the finalists in the Quizno’s video contest for
    $10,000, and he’s giving me the day off work if I just bounce around
    the internet and post comments on all forums and blogs related to
    Quizno’s asking people to vote to help him win, which is actually
    totally awesome of him and I’m glad to do it. It means a day relaxing
    on the computer at home, and his video’s pretty funny.

    Anyway, please take a minute and vote for Joel. You actually get
    entered to win a years supply of Quizno’s subs just for voting, but
    more importantly, you are helping me look good to my boss.

    Here’s the details:

    Vote for “Skyscraper of Sandwiches”

    http://promo.toastytorpedo.com//videos.aspx?ucid=3481a711-fb40-4288-b46e-e6ca9635fb89

    Thanks everyone.

    • Miss Moneypenny

      From Homosexual Euphemisms to Phallic Skyscraper Symbols, what will Quiznos and Quiznos’ fans think of next?

  2. HA HAAAAAAAA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ((and sorry))

    … he hee 🙂

  3. Ummm … that commercial scared me, but not enough to eat a sammi.

    I used to meet women at the ball park by asking if they wanted a bite of my weiner ….. 😉

    • Miss Moneypenny

      Hi Speedy,

      Since my Comedy Censor switch turns off after midnight…

      Knowing you, U followed up with this pick up line:

      My weiner is Just like Ball Park Franks…Plump when you Cook ‘Em! 😉

      Hopefully, U didn’t toast your weiner in Quiznos and Lieutenant Hikaru Sulu’s Toaster Oven before meeting women at the ball park! 😉

  1. Pingback: The Layoff Beard » The Last Refuge Of Phallic Overload

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