Swine Flu Delusions And Flu Facts

In this episode of Swine Flu Delusions, There Are Chickens in the Tree…

Swine (H1N1) Flu Facts

Swine Flu Facts as of May 3, 2009
787 cases of influenza A(H1N1) infection and 20 deaths ~ Source

Swine Flu Facts as of May 1, 2009
367 cases of influenza A(H1N1) infection and 10 deaths ~ Source

Swine Flu Facts as of April 30, 2009
257 cases of influenza A (H1N1) infection and 8 deaths ~ Source

fatpig_icon On April 28th, 2009, President Barack Obama asked Congress to approve an additional $1.5 billion to fight the swine flu.

For more information about the Swine Flu Propaganda, please visit the previous post.

Remember Bush’s Bird Flu Scare, 2004 – 2005?
Loading Chicken Flu H5N1

Cartoonist Credit: Martin Rowson, The Guardian UK, Mar 14, 2005

Since 2003, the count of human cases of H5N1 Avian Influenza is 417 with 257 deaths in a global population of 6.77 billion. The Bird Flu death rate in the U.S. is Zero versus the 36,000 Americans who die every year from the seasonal common influenza virus.

In comparison, the Bird flu has killed 40 people (on average) per year versus the 250,000 to 500,000 people who die from the seasonal common influenza virus every year.

417 cases / 6,777,035,283 people equals a 0.000006153% rate of infection
257 deaths / 6,777,035,283 people equals a 0.000003792% death rate

In comparison, the Influenza Epidemic of 1918 killed a estimated 50 million people:

50 million / 250 million people equals a 20% death rate which is 194,552 times higher than the bird flu death rate.

If the Bird Flu rate of infection was 1 percent then 67.77 million people would have been infected.

Note: The H5N1 avian influenza (Bird Flu) cannot routinely infect humans in its current form. “Realistically, avian influenza is not a threat to people, but everywhere you go, it has turned into a circus.” – Gary Butcher who has a Ph.D. in poultry virology

fatpig_icon On October 27, 2005, the American Senate approved a $8 billion emergency pandemic preparedness amendment to address the Avian Flu virus. Health and Human Services Secretary Mike Leavitt received 3.1 billion dollars immediately to begin purchasing 80 million vials of Tamiflu at $100 per dose, a drug that has no relationship to the Bird Flu virus. It is interesting to note Senator Barack Obama’s involvement in the Avian Flu Scare(6).

Loading H5N1 Bird Candy
Photo Source: H2oO Cartoon

The Avian Flu Candy Store is open.

Since there is no evidence that the HPAI H5N1 avian influenza virus is transmitted among other animals, no animal import restrictions were needed when the CDC banned importing all birds on February 4, 2004 (7). This information poses the obvious dilemma of how a bird flu mutates to infect only one species of animals commonly called humans. The answer could be HERE or the Bird Flu was genetically engineered as a biological weapon.

Nancy Cox, chief of CDC’s Influenza Division, said the “genetic analysis has shown that the (swine flu) virus appears to be an unusual hybrid that has genetic material from four different sources: avian and swine viruses from North America, a swine flu strain usually seen in Asia, and a human influenza strain.” The F.B.I. (Fat Bald Innocent) blames the laboratory (see Swine Flu Parody song below) for this awful story.

(1) WHO H5N1 Avian Influenza
(2) WHO H5N1 Avian Influenza Map, 2003 to Apr 8, 2009
(3) Population Clock recorded on on May 1, 2009 22:00 GMT
(4) CDC Seasonal Flu Facts
(5) Influenza Epidemic of 1918

(6) Reid: It’s Time to Take Action to Protect Americans From the Avian Flu
(6a) Vote Summary of H.R. 3010, As Amended
(6b) The Expensive Fear Factor starring Health and Human Services Secretary Mike Leavitt

(7) Bird flu scare and the US embargo on birds

For Music Monday, the MADtv cast sings the Bird Flu song, 2005


The “Sesame Street: Bird Flu” skit and song first aired on Dec 10, 2005 on MADtv.


avian influenza virus genus a!
its the most potentially devastating disease!
avian influenza virus genus a!
it could bring the human race to its knees!
it starts with a tickle, in the back of your throat,
next you’re getting married, bye bye that’s all she wrote
avian influenza virus genus a!
it’s the most horrendous death you could endure
it’s contagious and to this date it has no cure!

And, the Swine Flu song, May 1st, 2009

Video Source: PutnamPig.com


Miss Piggy, Arnold Ziffle,
neither has a little sniffle
Porky Pig and Pooh’s Piglet
No fever yet

Putnam, Gordy, Toot and Puddle
Not contagious safe to snuggle

Ask Petunia Babe, Noelle
All of them feel well

Wilbur, Hamm Hogzilla too
None of them caused the flu

Wash your hands, wear a mask
How’d this happen, people ask

How it started I don’t know
Stay away from Mexico

Now it’s in the USA
No one’s safe this day and age

Pigs didn’t start the swine flu
Blame the laboratory
For this awful Story
Pigs didn’t start the swine flu
No we’ve been betrayed
The strain appears man-made

Viral codes of human flu
Bird influenza’s in there too

The only thing i seem to find
People blame the swine

Read the papers, post your blog
Blame it on the lowly hog

Down some aspirin, take a swig
You’re infected by the pig

Everyone thinks I’m contagious
Read it on my twitter pages

You can hug me you won’t die
Come and hang out in my sty

Eat your dinner throw it up
No one blames it on the pup

Run a temp and get the chlls
Everyone run for the hills

Pigs didn’t start the swine flu
Blame the laboratory
For this awful Story
Pigs didn’t start the swine flu
No we’ve been betrayed
The strain appears man-made

Name diseases after pigs
Everyone throws dirty digs

I’m a virus people think
I’m not sick I’m clean and pink

I”m your friend your little buddy
I don’t know why you feel cruddy

Don’t blame me I’m not the cause
Government should change the laws

People sick across the nation
Looking for a vaccination

Center for disease control
Someone there has got to know

This disease it needs a name Which animals should we defame

Nobody will likely mind
If we named it for an ugly swine

Pigs didn’t start the swine flu
Blame the laboratory
For this awful Story
Pigs didn’t start the swine flu
No we’ve been betrayed
The strain appears man-made

The pigs are innocent I tell you
We didn’t do anything wrong

We didn’t start this disease
But we’re taking all the blame.

Aporkalypse Now

It’s only a Swine Flu Outbreak,
Not a global Pig Pandemic.

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*For your reading and laughing pleasure, you may also like these related posts…

Swine Flu Delusions And Flu Facts is Political Satire by Miss Moneypenny aka Debbie Dolphin

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Miss Moneypenny reporting for the Undercover Times

About Miss Moneypenny

Contrarian Comedienne who creates Photoshop Political Satire and comedy.

Posted on May 3, 2009, in Chicken Comedy, Chook Humor, Music Monday, Political News, Political Satire, Wordless Chicken Tuesday and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 12 Comments.

  1. Hey Debbie! I think some freaky weirdo had sex with a farm pig and caught the flu, but I could be wrong. I must be immune to the flu because I rarely ever even get a cold and when I do, it goes away within days 🙂

    • HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Miss Moneypenny

      Hi Bobby!

      Based on the natural disease events in nature, the current Media Swindle appears to have started with Porky Pig having Swine Sex with the Farmer’s daughter in an Aporkalypse Laboratory south of the border.

      Here is another interesting statistic:

      As of May 7th, 42 Swine Flu deaths in a population of 110 million have been reported in Mexico.

      The death rate is 0.000038182%
      The odds of being struck by lightning is 0.02%

      Everyone is 523.8 times less likely to die from Swine Flu than being struck by lightning yet, Oporkulus Obama wants another $1.5 billion to fight the Swine Flue outbreak.

  2. Wouldn’t it be nice to live in a world where everything was not hype and scandal? I will b back later to watch the musical show! Hello to 0008 from 0007 😉

    • Miss Moneypenny

      Hello 0007 from 0008!

      Without hype and scandal, how would Senator (and President) Obama acquire $9.5 billion dollars? 😉

  3. Haha, interesting song. Happy MM Miss Moneypenny 🙂

  4. Happy MM!

    • Miss Moneypenny

      Hi Jennifer,

      Without a link to your blog in your comment, do you post Music on Mondays?

      Happy MM! 🙂

  5. Miss Moneypenny

    The above pingback link is a great example of someone copying some text in my post so they can be paid by advertising on their site, a misleading practice which was never authorized by me.

    The Digital Desperado has violated my Attribution-NonCommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.

    Furthermore, the Digital Desperado has copied my post without giving me or my blog credit in violation of my Attribution-NonCommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.

    Napoleon Fantastic does NOT write for me or Miss MoneypennyCPU…. For a refreshing change, write your own posts in the future.

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