Ass Kicker-in-Chief of Barack Petroleum
Since my political satire can be subtle, President Barack Obama wanted to “know whose ass to kick” during the exclusive “Today” show interview which aired on June 8, 2010. Apparently, Landfish Obama doesn’t realize the magnitude of his crisis(1): 55 Days of leaking Oil has ass kicked the marine life in the Gulf and Americans who rely on the fishing industry(2).
The ‘Sea Kittens’ PETA principle was used in my political satire to note the silence of PETA in the media. For more information on PETA’s Sea Kittens, please visit PETA’s Best Feathered Friends: Chicken of the Sea Kittens.
Barack Petroleum is a play on British Petroleum to note the conflict of interest between Obama, his administration, and British Petroleum as noted in the previous post: Barack Petroleum could have Sealed the Oil Spill in 8-hours (3)
For Music Monday, Obama sings his Kick Ass Song
Music Video Background
You can purchase the mp3 of Obama’s Ass-Kicking Experts at Auto-Tune the News.
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(1) 93 million gallons of crude oil have leaked into the Gulf of Mexico over the last 55 days. Governments scientists are currently estimating that 1.68 million gallons or 40,000 barrels of oil (40 times the original estimate) have been leaking every day which is the equivalent of the Exxon Valdez Oil spill every five days. The 1989 Exxon Valdez was the previous worst oil spill disaster in U.S. History.
According to Steve Wereley, Fluid Mechanics Professor at Purdue Univ, the oil well leak (with a well pressure of 23,000 psi* at the top of the Oil Reservoir, 18,000 feet below sea level) is gushing 70,000 barrels or 2.94 million gallons of oil per day.
V= Volume of the Oil Flow
r = radius of the pipe = 10.5 inches = 0.875 feet
v = estimated flow rate for the oil = 2 feet per second
t = time period of the leak, 1 day = 86,400 sec
V= 3.14*0.875f^2*2f/s*86,400 sec = 415,632 cubic feet / day
V = 415,632 cubic feet / 5.6146 cubic feet = 74,027 barrels per day
Breaking news: On Day 57 of Barack Petroleum’s Oil Spill and the eve of the Ass Kicker-in-Chief’s address, Governments Scientists have revised their estimate of the BP’s oil gusher. They currently estimate BP’s ruptured well is leaking between 35,000 and 60,000 barrels or between 1.47 million and 2.52 million gallons a day of oil per day. Source: CBS News, June 15, 2010
According to Section 7.1 “Worst-Case Scenario Determination” of BP’s Initial Exploration Plan, the worst-case scenario of a Uncontrolled Blowout at the Macondo Well (location of the Deepwater Horizon Rig at Mississippi Canyon Bloc 252) is 162,000 barrels per day.
The Minerals Management Service received Barack Petroleum’s Initial Exploration Plan on Feb 23, 2009 during the ‘transparent’ secret administration of Barack Obama. Since April 20, Fluke Fishwalker of Barack Petroleum has known the well pressure producing the uncontrolled volume of crude oil flowing into the Gulf.
*According to Robert Kennedy Jr, the well was drilled 25,000 feet deep:
sea water: 5000 ft deep x .4444 psi/ft pressure gradient= 2222 psi
salt layer: 2626 ft of x .6248 psi/ft pressure gradient = 1,641 psi
bedrock: 17,374 ft x 1.08325 psi/ft pressure gradient = 18,820 psi
total pressure at the top of the Oil Reservoir: 22,683 psi at 25,000 feet deep
BP claims their exploration well was drilled 18,000 feet deep
total pressure at the top of the Oil Reservoir: 15,100 psi at 18,000 feet deep
The Smoking Gun?
Coast Guard Admiral Thad Allen estimates the Oil Pressure of the Macondo oil gusher is 9,000 psi at the top of the oil reservoir:
Oil density: 53.69 lbs/f3 divided by 144 = .3728 psi/ft pressure gradient
9,000 psi divided by .3728 psi/ft pressure gradient = 24,142 feet deep
total oil well pressure at 24,142 ft = 21,753 psi
minus the pressure of sea water at 24,142 ft x .4444 psi/ft = 10,729 psi
minus the oil pressure from the reservoir to the seabed 19,142 ft x .3728 psi/ft = 7,136 psi
equals the oil pressure at the WellHead: 3,888 psi (vs Allen’s estimate of 3,500 psi )
Apparently, Admiral Thad Allen’s estimate confirms that Barack Petroleum drilled deeper than 18,000 feet.
(2) The Gulf Oil Disaster has increased environmental hazards to crabs, fish especially marlin and swordfish, and shrimp. Ironically, Louisiana’s effort to push back the Gulf Oil spill by increasing the flow of fresh water in the marshland has threatened the oyster beds and closed P&J Oyster Company, America’s oldest Oyster Shucker.
Barack Petroleum’s Wildlife Death Toll: 770 dead birds, 341 dead sea turtles, 41 dead mammals ~ Source: Fish & Wildlife Collection Report: June 15, 2010
BP has sprayed Corexit EC9500A and Corexit EC9527A to break up the oil slick. Dead Zones have been formed by the crude oil and 800,000 gallons of the toxic chemical dispersant which will endanger marine life for years.
(3) Based on the Government’s oil spill estimate, Barack Petroleum could be fined $2.4 billion ($1,100 per Barrel of Oil spilled under the Clean Water Act). If Barack Petroleum was found to have committed gross negligence or willful misconduct then the civil fine could be as high as $4,300 per barrel or $9.5 billion.
For more information on who is responsible for what happens on federal property, please click Here.
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Posted on June 13, 2010, in Humor, Music Monday, Political Humor, Political News, Political Satire, Presidential Phun and tagged Ass Kicker-in-Chief, Barack Petroleum, BP, British Petroleum, Gulf Oil Spill, Humor, Jon Stewart, Music Monday, Oil Spill, Political Humor, Political News, Political Satire, President Barack Hussein Obama, Presidential Phun, The Daily Show. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.