Sheriff Jordan Carver stops SpeedySPAM

Boobarela Bytes, starring Sheriff Jordan Carver from Boobatropolis, is prepared to stop SpeedySPAM by going for the JUGular of Speedy Spammers….

Loading Spam Sheriff
Image Source: ©2010 Miss Moneypenny Satire Note 2
With her natural 5.3-pound 34G weapons of Mammary Destruction,
Boobarela Bytes will take A Bite Out of SPAM.

Viking Spam Spam Spam Song…

written and performed by SPAM Terry Jones, Michael SPAM Palin, John SPAM John SPAM John SPAM Cleese, Graham SPAM SPAM SPAM Chapman, Eric SPAM Egg and Chips Idle, anf Terry SPAM Sausage SPAM Egg SPAM Gilliam of Monty Python’s Flying Circus

For Music Monday, “Spam,” 1989

Music Video Background

“Spam” was written by parody singer “Weird Al” Yankovic to expose his obsession with the mystery meat. “Spam” is a parody of the R.E.M. song “Stand.” The parody song was recorded on the UHF soundtrack for the comedy cult film UHF, the sixth album of Alfred Matthew “Weird Al” Yankovic.


Spam in the place where I live
(Ham and pork)
Think about nutrition, wonder what’s inside it now
(Oh boy)

Spam in my lunch box at work
(It’s the best)
Really makes a darn good sandwich
Any way you slice it at all

If you’re running low, go to the store
Carry some money to help you buy more
The tab is there to open the can
The can is there to hold in the spam

Oh, spam on the table at home
(Ham and pork)
Think about selection, are there different flavors now?
(Let’s eat)

Spam in my office, at work
(It’s the best)
Think about the stuff it’s made from
Wonder if it’s mystery of meat

If you need a spoon, keep one around
Carry a thermos to help wash it down
Now, if there’s some left, don’t just throw it out
Use it for spackle or bathroom grout, now

Spam in my pantry, at home
(Have some more)
Think of expiration, better read the label
(Oh boy)

Spam breakfast, dinner, or lunch
(It’s the best)
Think about how it’s been precooked
Wonder if I’ll just eat it cold

Now, once you start in, you can’t put it down
Don’t leave it sitting or it’ll turn brown
The key is going to open the tin
The tin is there to keep the spam in

Oh, spam
Ham and pork
Think about nutrition, wonder what’s inside it now
(Oh boy)

It’s the best
Really makes a darn good sandwich
Any way you slice it

Spam in the place where I live
(Have some more)
Think about addiction, wonder if I’m a junkie now
(Let’s eat)

Spam in the place where I work
(You’re obsessed)
Think about the way it’s processed
Wonder if it’s some kind of meat

Spam in the back of my car
(Ham and pork)
Spam any place that you are
(Ham and pork)

The tab is there to open the can
(Spam any place that you are, ham and pork)
The can is there to hold in the spam
(Spam any place that you are, ham and pork)

Occasionally, the SPAM Burglars will provide some comic levity like these two:

James Annicchiarico, 2010/09/03 at 7:41 am

“I have came here a few times but never left a commented, just wanted to let you know… Keep up the excellent work! Another thing i love to do when reading blogs is play Flash games 🙂 Worlds Hardest Game and Crush The Castle are the two favorite (SPAM Link removed).”

Jumping James Flash came and Boobarela Bytes canned him.

Robbie Botkin, 2010/09/02 at 1:02 pm –

“Why have you removed my post? It was very helpful information and i guarantee at least 1 person found it helpful unlike the rest of the comments on this website. I’ll post it again. Sick and tired of obtaining low amounts of useless visitors to your website? Well i wish to inform you of a new underground tactic that produces myself $900 daily on 100% AUTOPILOT. I could truthfully be here all day and going into detail but why don’t you merely check their website out? There is a excellent video that explains everything. So if your serious about producing simple hard cash this is the site for you. (SPAM Link removed).”

No doubt, Robbie expected to bait me into publishing his spam comment with his opening sentence. Can you prove that your SPAM comment was helpful to anyone?

*For your reading and laughing pleasure, you may also like these related posts…


(1) For Engineers who need to create the perfect cantilever Bra support, the weight of Jordan’s hanging pendulums was calculated as follows:

34in. band G size cup = 7 cups
7 cups x 190 cc/cup = 1330 cc x .9g/cc (natural Adipose tissue) = 1197 grams x 0.0022046 lbs/gram = 2.64 lbs per breast or 5.28 lbs per pair

(2) In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the Photo of Jordan Carver was modified and used for the Fair Use of comical commentary. We believe this constitutes a ‘fair use’ of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law.

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Miss Moneypenny reporting for the Undercover Times

About Miss Moneypenny

Contrarian Comedienne who creates Photoshop Political Satire and comedy.

Posted on September 6, 2010, in Humor, Music Monday, Satire, Titillating Tuesday and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. ahahahahhaah! I love the Speedy Speedcat photo!

    • Hi Meleah,

      Did you know Speedy SPAMcat was born in Spam Town USA (Austin, Minnesota)?

      Speedy Ham-Cat was raised with the ‘Hambition’ to be next ‘Cur-Ater’ of the SPAM Museum in Austin, Minnesota.

      If you receive a lot of SpeedySPAM on your blog, call Dr Shoal at 1-800-LUV-SPAM for his special hogwash ‘oinkment’ which is guaranteed to stop the spread of infection. 😉

  2. HA HAAAAAAAAAAAA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    You’re the greatest Moneypenny ….

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