Phallus and Homosexual Euphemisms in the New Quiznos Commercial
On March 23, 2009, Quiznos launched their foot-long Toasty Torpedo Sub loaded with Phallus and Homosexual Euphemisms….
Put it in me, Scott? According to Reuters, the (ground-breaking?) long, slim sub comes in five manly varieties: Big Kahuna Tuna, Italian, Pesto Turkey, Turkey Club, and Beef, Bacon & Cheddar. For more information, you can take the test at Toasty torpedo.com.
Will you vote for the new Toasty Torpedo?
The good news was Quiznos didn’t erect the 180-foot long Falcon 9 Phallus Rocket to launch their Toasty Torpedo to Uranus…
Image source: Space Exploration Technologies (SpaceX) raised the Falcon 9 Rocket upright at the Space Launch Complex 40 (SLC-40) in Cape Canaveral, Florida on Jan 10, 2009.
In other bizarre related news, Rory McInnes, a 18 year-old British teenager, painted a giant 60-foot long phallus on the roof of his parents’ home after watching a documentary about the satellite images on Google Earth. You can view a photo of his artwork by clicking, “Teenager paints 60ft phallus on roof of family home.”
Apparently, Rory was inspired by an ancient fertility symbol. His painting of the engorged erect organ is a copy of the Cerne Abbas Giant, a 80-foot high figure of a naked sexually aroused club-wielding giant that was carved into the side of a chalk hill in Dorset, southwest England. Please note that both linked images may be considered NSFW.
The good news is his parents can find their home from space after partying with Lieutenant Hikaru Sulu who has toasted a few Torpedoes in his toaster oven.
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Miss Moneypenny reporting for the Undercover Times
Tags: Bizarre Ads, Homosexual Euphemisms, Humor, Phallus Euphemism, Quiznos, Satire, Strange Commercials, Toasty Torpedo
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August 14, 2009 at 7:52 am
[...] bread alone does not a gutter mind make. As Quizno’s has shown, you need an oven with entry points and a name like “Torpedo” or “Bullet” [...]
July 22, 2009 at 5:24 pm
My boss Joel is one of the finalists in the Quizno’s video contest for
$10,000, and he’s giving me the day off work if I just bounce around
the internet and post comments on all forums and blogs related to
Quizno’s asking people to vote to help him win, which is actually
totally awesome of him and I’m glad to do it. It means a day relaxing
on the computer at home, and his video’s pretty funny.
Anyway, please take a minute and vote for Joel. You actually get
entered to win a years supply of Quizno’s subs just for voting, but
more importantly, you are helping me look good to my boss.
Here’s the details:
Vote for “Skyscraper of Sandwiches”
http://promo.toastytorpedo.com//videos.aspx?ucid=3481a711-fb40-4288-b46e-e6ca9635fb89
Thanks everyone.
July 22, 2009 at 6:04 pm
From Homosexual Euphemisms to Phallic Skyscraper Symbols, what will Quiznos and Quiznos’ fans think of next?
March 26, 2009 at 10:19 pm
HA HAAAAAAAA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
((and sorry))
… he hee
March 27, 2009 at 12:05 am
Hi Speedy Weinercat,
See my comical comment down under…
March 26, 2009 at 10:19 pm
Ummm … that commercial scared me, but not enough to eat a sammi.
I used to meet women at the ball park by asking if they wanted a bite of my weiner …..
March 27, 2009 at 12:05 am
Hi Speedy,
Since my Comedy Censor switch turns off after midnight…
Knowing you, U followed up with this pick up line:
My weiner is Just like Ball Park Franks…Plump when you Cook ‘Em!
Hopefully, U didn’t toast your weiner in Quiznos and Lieutenant Hikaru Sulu’s Toaster Oven before meeting women at the ball park!